Making a habit and the cyclical failure
The first months of the year are gone and you surely think of that long list of everything we proposed around 365 days ago and didn't achieve. It's a strange feeling accompanied by an uncomfortable frustration. Fulfilling a purpose has a lot to do with habits and many of us are not well trained in the subject. Sometimes habits are the responsible for that failure (but not the right ones).
Habits are a commitment to yourself which require a great deal of energy and willpower. It's about seeking challenges and conciliations. It's a constant movement in our inside impacting the actions of the outside world. The TIME magazine published a list called "Top 10 Commonly Broken New Year's Resolutions". It is not surprising that many of them are related to bad habits like losing weight, stopping smoking, eating healthier, paying off debts, starting saving, reducing stress and consuming less alcohol among others. Curiously, and no matter what path we choose to turn our intentions into accomplishments, we will need to build a new habit that will deal strictly with the former. Fight a habit with another habit!
The word "habit" itself has an uncomfortable meaning in our day to day life. A habit has an indefinite term, but they usually end up becoming something natural in our day to day. The simple reason to talk about it, makes our thoughts travel in the future, usually to moments in the long term. That may be the big mistake. In fact, adopting good habits is usually accompanied by a goal, but this goal is not always clear enough. For example, let's take the case of quitting smoking. Probably the attention is on not smoking one more cigarette for the rest of life. Let's think for a moment! Is that really the goal? Why do you really want to quit? Is your goal to be healthier? It may have something to do with saving the money you spent on so many cigarettes and improving your personal finances. In this example we can compare the first intention "not to consume one more cigarette" is a weak objective compared to the reasons why you want to stop doing it: to improve your health or to spend less money for example. The last two reasons may be more powerful and may also show benefits and results almost immediately.
In an article entitled "Guide to fulfill the purposes of this year before it is too late" for the Verne section of the online portal "El País" Carmen Pacheco begins the introduction by saying: "Analyze why you fail! At this point, no, you do not deserve a break! " It also shares a list of so-called endless purposes (exercise, eating healthy, learning languages, saving, for parents: just having free time ...) and five tips that aim to combat procrastination and land goals in realistic terms and deadlines. Between these tips, there are two that not only express sincerity in their formulation but also carry a great strength. These are: "No, you do not deserve a break!" and "To reach the goal you have to forget the goal!". These two advises could have the character of mantras which could be a great help in the construction of habits that transform our purposes into reality with more realistic goals and more honest reasons.
Starting a habit can be as heavy as running a full marathon. However, we must not forget that we do not talk about an impossible. It's as simple as an action that implies constancy and an adequate training. A decision that pretends to find the balanced with the rest of the aspects of our life. Consistency is not easy, but it's the way to a happier life and self-satisfaction. There is no doubt of our wish to accomplish something. Now that you are reading this, give you an opportunity to start or restart with that goal you always wanted and once and for all break with that tiresome and "cyclical failure"? Maybe you'll get a nice surprise!